It was dark
It was dark, and I tried all my best to fight it
Oh my God, I really tried to fight it
But it kept seducing and taunting me
Calling me weak and showing me the power I could have if only I would choose to succumb to it
I tried to remain good through it all
I promise you I tried
But it was tired of being held back
It was such a powerful pushy feeling
You will need to be light and good to fight it
And I am none of that
I have no light or goodness left in me
So finally I succumbed to it
It came rushing like a dam and I couldn’t hold back
So I beat, slapped and kicked her till she was almost unconscious
Her moans of pain was feeding the darkness in me
I wanted so much to stop but I couldn't
I couldn't stand seeing her in so much pain
I couldn't stop the energy pumping into me either
It was a powerful and a sick thing
I loved it and I hated it
While doing this, a tiny small voice in my head kept telling me to stop
Telling me how much I love the recipient of my blows
But I was so far gone and the voice couldn't reach me
So I brokenly continued to inflict pain
I was so broken inside but I couldn't stop
My body stopped belonging to me
I was tired but I couldn't stop still
My eyes was dry and cold but my heart was wailing
Suddenly I remembered one of her many contagious smiles
I heard the sound of her happiness in her laughter
And just like that the dam of terror and darkness was closed shut
That was the day I came across the darkness in me
That was the day I realized I could kill
Help.
Adunni_adeh